Driftwood Beach

Driftwood Beach

by Cathy Windham

Discovery of a natural treasure and beautiful site is something you may want to keep secret

As if you are the first person to lay eyes on such a landscape

Finding it can be a challenge

heightened by the anticipation that it will live up to expectations

It does

Tossed and tumbled, dried, silver wood has the look of wild curly hair

in the incessant ocean breeze

Waves smooth it’s surfaces to a sheen similar to polished metal

Striations and cracks hold character as well as your infatuation with it’s aged beauty

Lean back and close your eyes

Listen to the sea gulls as they bob upon the waves 

Spread your picnic in a cove of driftwood and soft crystal sands that reflect gentle light in your eyes

Dream Believer

Dream Believer
by Cathy Windham

Can’t stop believing and thinking that I am witnessing a new transition in myself as I come out of a dream.
I’ve protected my core for the last five years. Honestly, I did not think it could be possible to emerge on the other side of heartbreak and still be ok much less better than I was before.
It sure has been a nice feeling to tell you the truth. I took my life back from the tailspin it was in.
Now, I’m no expert on matters such as this. There are plenty of books already written on how to deal with pain and depression after the loss of someone so close to your heart.
All I know is that each and every day, I’m more focused on the positive vibes of the day at hand.
I can make choices based on the knowledge that whatever I choose is right for me and be happy with it. I can allow myself to experience the happiness that I felt was so far out of reach but now is as close as that gold ring on the merry go round!

Soft Music

Soft Music
by Cathy Windham

You picked up your guitar and adjusted the strap across your shoulder.  Holding it close to your body, your fingers rested on the strings a moment. You began to play and the melody traveled into the surrounding air and was captured in the branches of the live oak trees bordering our secluded spot overlooking the marsh.
Soft tones escaped into the silence and then your voice was added in such harmony that I’m sure Mother Nature heard you, too!
I closed my eyes and listened intently as rays of afternoon sun were filtered by the Spanish moss overhead. I had hoped in that moment the tide would come back in and fill those hollow channels among the grassy reeds like the good feeling was filling the hollow channels of my veins.
It was a fine, oh so fine a time hearing you play and me being lost in the moment of soft music.

Acoustic Dream

Acoustic Dream
by Cathy Windham

Somewhere inside your guitar
lives a song as sweet and soft as
silk
The story of survival through melodies that have soothed your soul
Reaching back in time to bring a song back to life that was written on a piece of scrap paper then tossed across the room
Confidence in sharing those thoughts out loud and imbedded in notes of aged whiskey and oak
Resurrection of feelings of fear and the possibility of happiness
A prelude to dreams that will take you away along the weathered fretboard you hold in your hand so gently
Smooth  and sensual strumming of chords keep rhythm with my heart
So, play those tender songs you have hidden in your guitar for me

Miracle In The Making

A week out from the epicenter. I’m seeing a miracle in the making. 

I try not to envision Jackson’s horrible accident over and over in my mind because it would not even come close to what I know he sees when he closes his beautiful blue eyes. 

Those eyes. Heartbreakers.

My heart is healing when I see his smile and when he gives me a kiss. I hold his hand and let him lean his head on me as he gets his dressings changed. It’s incredibly painful. I tell him to deep breathe and how proud I am of him and brave he is. 

I stand outside his family’s inner circle and try not to be a “nurse.” I want to be Granny. I watch my sweet Lauren & Casey care for their son with such tenderness. It tears my heart out that they are in this stormy trauma recovery mode. 

I am blessed to know what I know about trauma care. Never taking for granted seeing him progress daily is nothing short of a miracle.

One day I’ll dance with this boy/man and we’ll both know that God is with us on this journey and we’ll thank Him again for the millionth time.

I look into those beautiful blue eyes and know he is destined for a great future. 

I love you, Jackson!

😘Granny

Tips on how to cope with grief

You will find your way eventually and along the way will discover yourself in a way you never thought existed. For instance I began writing poetry and short stories. I also taught myself to watercolor paint. Both of those talents may have always been suppressed but it wasn’t until I was working through my grief that they were discovered. Whatever it takes to get yourself breathing and functioning independently is a step in the right direction that will teach you how to react and be there for others in their grief journey. Your grief may improve over the years but it never truly goes away.

Hard As A Diamond

Hard As A Diamond

You know what is so weird? Counting the years into your future from a new ground zero. 

Ground zero for me was 2/5/2013. 

We'll all go through this portal at different times in our life and for many different reasons. What we'll have in common is a huge life altering event occurring.

It's an evolution in a sense. I found out that from that moment forward I was no longer the person I had been. I'd never be the same or think the same or react to things the same. 

I would need more time. 

I'll never have enough time it seems some days.

My days were on hold and my nights were an earthquake.

Working out from the epicenter, I can tangibly feel the difference in the earth under my feet. My stance is much more stabilized. 

My focus is returning. My vision is clearer and I can turn my sight forward again.

I feel as though up until now I was standing in the center of a revolving turnstile. I saw the exit but didn’t trust the path. 

That earth shattering day moving further and further away into the past. A circular rippling blur.

The reason for my change is like a precious gem being made under a great force of nature. A crushing glacier went right over my heart. 

I feel like I'm in a new orbit revolving around a brighter sun. My soul shines like that diamond I made out of my pain. 

Bright, indelible, faceted and reflective of my beautiful life. 

Yes, recovery is as hard as a diamond.

Cathy