Your Moment

Your Moment

by Cathy Windham

Living in your moment sounds so effortless doesn’t it? After all, we are in charge of our decisions are we not? So why do we think that living in our moment is something that is unrealistic? So many questions and just as many answers as to why we behave this way. 

One is putting ourselves last. We do that a lot.  To put ourselves first is selfish and frowned upon. Doing for others in our lives overshadows our own needs and desires. To be the giver forces us to be focused on service to others. A gift of yourself. 

Always giving depletes resources.

Another reason is worthiness. Often we do not see ourselves as worthy or important as those we serve. Working tirelessly every day to provide is difficult. It can leave one depleted of joy on a daily basis.

Our needs get shoved further and further away. We fail to recognize them or acknowledge their existence. They fall off the radar.

Years can pass with this relentless weight on us. We need to learn to lighten our emotional load. Some crack under their own pressure. Others tear down the very thing they spent precious time building up. By then it’s much too late. 

So, to get your life back on an equal level to those you serve may be the key to survival. Invest a few minutes of time each day to your emotional health. Pray, meditate, exercise, read, paint, play music, sing or nap. 

It won’t matter what you choose as long as the result brings you happiness and peace living in your moment.

Reset

Reset

by Cathy Windham

Sometimes when I’m home alone,  I wonder why days go by at such a slow pace. As if time’s clock got stuck. The second hand gets hung up and jerks in place going nowhere. On those days, thoughts can invade my mind and play tricks on me. Was it really time to wake up that morning? Did I forget to sleep last night? Am I stuck on a journey through fog and lost my way? I have self doubt and feel as though nothing is very important in my life.  I am alone and that is a very frightening place to be.

It wasn’t always this way. I was always so busy and going in so many directions at one time that I may have wondered how I ever got from one day to the next. A day when I could really relax and enjoy myself was needed in the worst possible way.  I managed to make that happen somehow. For me it was not planned out very well though. When I should have slowed down a year earlier I didn’t. I pushed through the difficult months of that last year at work. I never knew what the future would bring. I hoped and prayed only fun days were ahead to be enjoyed. Endless glee. Constant happiness. Perfect endings. I was wrong.

I found myself in a space lacking oxygen for five years. Barely aware of who I was and why I was still alive and able to get from day to day. I still accomplished so many physical challenges much to my surprise.  I really thought at the time I was doing ok. I think I had many people fooled, too.  I learned to suppress some emotions and express others. I came out of a cocoon in a sense a very changed person.

I would say this transformation in myself is very overdue. But, as anything that is yearned for and worked on slowly to get it right, it took every bit of that slow paced time invested to see results that will bolster me and keep me going forward into an uncertain yet happier future. 

I’ve reset my clock ahead to the time I need to be in right here and right now. 

Sensual Song

Sensual Song

Music has been attributed
To emotions deep within
That slow and sensual song
Is where it will begin

In the silence of my heart beat
Touch can become your play
Turn up the volume on that tune
Making sweat beads where we lay

Wet skin is so inviting
Slightly salty to my taste
That slow and sensual song
Beckons kissing on your waist

Keep the melody in rhythm with my breath
It’s one that makes me sigh
Your scent so alluring
Sensual song makes me high

Serenade

Serenade

by Cathy Windham

Sing a song of meaning

that takes me back in time

Of days and fun we used to have

when we were in our prime

The melody will be soft and slow

as evening shadows grow

For in your guitar lies a song for me

that only you will know

I had the feeling many have 

when they are reminded of the past

that in this moment of the future

you want it all to last

Yet as all dreams and songs do end

when tempo begins to trail

the song you sang for me that day

impressed me without fail

Driftwood Beach

Driftwood Beach

by Cathy Windham

Discovery of a natural treasure and beautiful site is something you may want to keep secret

As if you are the first person to lay eyes on such a landscape

Finding it can be a challenge

heightened by the anticipation that it will live up to expectations

It does

Tossed and tumbled, dried, silver wood has the look of wild curly hair

in the incessant ocean breeze

Waves smooth it’s surfaces to a sheen similar to polished metal

Striations and cracks hold character as well as your infatuation with it’s aged beauty

Lean back and close your eyes

Listen to the sea gulls as they bob upon the waves 

Spread your picnic in a cove of driftwood and soft crystal sands that reflect gentle light in your eyes

Dream Believer

Dream Believer
by Cathy Windham

Can’t stop believing and thinking that I am witnessing a new transition in myself as I come out of a dream.
I’ve protected my core for the last five years. Honestly, I did not think it could be possible to emerge on the other side of heartbreak and still be ok much less better than I was before.
It sure has been a nice feeling to tell you the truth. I took my life back from the tailspin it was in.
Now, I’m no expert on matters such as this. There are plenty of books already written on how to deal with pain and depression after the loss of someone so close to your heart.
All I know is that each and every day, I’m more focused on the positive vibes of the day at hand.
I can make choices based on the knowledge that whatever I choose is right for me and be happy with it. I can allow myself to experience the happiness that I felt was so far out of reach but now is as close as that gold ring on the merry go round!

Soft Music

Soft Music
by Cathy Windham

You picked up your guitar and adjusted the strap across your shoulder.  Holding it close to your body, your fingers rested on the strings a moment. You began to play and the melody traveled into the surrounding air and was captured in the branches of the live oak trees bordering our secluded spot overlooking the marsh.
Soft tones escaped into the silence and then your voice was added in such harmony that I’m sure Mother Nature heard you, too!
I closed my eyes and listened intently as rays of afternoon sun were filtered by the Spanish moss overhead. I had hoped in that moment the tide would come back in and fill those hollow channels among the grassy reeds like the good feeling was filling the hollow channels of my veins.
It was a fine, oh so fine a time hearing you play and me being lost in the moment of soft music.