Why Can’t Somebody Keep Me Safe?

Sounds like a song title, doesn’t it?
I’m laying in bed late at night wondering why this hit me so hard at this moment.
I’m happy or at least I have been striving to be happy for several years now. Why tonight?
Maybe it’s because of this isolation I’m in. The Covid-19 pandemic affecting our whole world for the past few months.
It has literally tilted our world and wrecked havoc on society. Nothing is the same and every day it is so confusing.
I am alone a lot. I know I am not the only one feeling like this. It’s very depressing to say the least. Many have died. Mostly those with underlying medical conditions.  I am blessed with good health and a knowledge of how to navigate through a world of dangerous pathogens.
No cure for it and no vaccine for some time.
So why do I cry?
I want security like everyone else does.
I want reassurance that life will be carefree again.
Spontaneous and effortless in a sense. I want my normal back that I fought so hard to have after loss.
It’s hard, I can’t lie. I won’t pretend it does not affect me. I try not to let it show on the surface how concerned I am.
My kids, my grands future world is in a world of uncertainty.
Please, let there be a way to make our world safe again.
I need to know that working on my future is an important goal.
It’s hard to do that alone.

I Miss You

I miss waking up and seeing you still asleep

I miss you making promises you intended to keep

I miss you in my dreams as I sleep 

I miss you wiping my tears as I weep 

I miss being enclosed in your warm embrace

I miss your kiss after lifting the veil from my face

I miss the days we had and all the days ahead

I miss the afternoon naps as we lay on the bed

I miss wondering what you are thinking

I miss us on the back porch drinking

I miss the shine in your eyes as we look to the sky

I miss days that become nights with you by my side

I miss walking the beach at low tide

I miss all these things 

I miss you

Be At Peace

True love lasts forever and hurts forever, too. One thing I learned is time can be revisited in our mind. We won’t ever have that time back but it remains imprinted on our mind and heart. So, although our loved ones and others are no longer with us today, they remain forever looking and being at their best forever. That gives me peace.
I hope it will give you peace also. ☮️😘

Looking Back

Looking Back
by Cathy Windham

Where does the time go?
I used to have so much.  Days lasted
forever.  Once when I was sick with the flu, I swore I thought I would never get well.  After that, it was exam week and I was certain each day of torture would never end.  The day I missed the bus lasted forever until I could explain to my dad when he got home from work.  That day was especially long.  Snow days lasted for days!  I remember playing all day and well into the night.  I had no clue what time it was.  The kids down the street stayed little forever in my mind.
Time ticked by and I did not notice.
The first time the clock snuck up on me I was graduating college and marrying the following week.  Planning my wedding, studying, exams and graduation occured the same week.  It was over before I could blink.  State Board exams, cooking, cleaning, finding a job and working happened in unison.  Children, working, wife, cleaning and gym mom consumed my days.  Years marched on like weeks.
Disease diagnosis slowed the days to
a standstill as we breathed slowly
and tried to take it all in and make the most of each precious minute together.
Where does the time go?  It evaporated like the mist on my bathroom mirror.

Cathy Windham
8/17/14

Torn Heart

The tear in your heart is real. The scar may not show but you will always know it is there. Take pride in your ability to heal from such a painful tear. 💔

Grateful

The last 9 years have brought the biggest challenges. Cancer invaded and conquered 5 yrs ago. I have to say that having gone through that awful period of time, I am stronger, more patient, more empathetic, more loving, more ready than ever to continue living while taking that love I lost with me in my heart forever. That won’t change. I am thankful and grateful to have had such an exceptional 40 yr period of my life with my husband. I carry on and life is good. The future holds much in store for my life going forward. ❤️

Pathway To Tomorrow

Pathway to Tomorrow
by Cathy Windham

Don’t be afraid to find another you
One that God had planned ahead
Worry versus fear
You must choose which will live in your head

Soon lies a future for you
One that you will steer
be strong and brave in your belief
you will overcome your fears

Today starts a new day
one full of goodness and relief
One you can smile upon
and fully release your grief