Love

The only true gift in life is love.

You can give it away and find yourself blessed with more than you gave away. 

Amazingly your heart can hold an immeasurable amount of love, too!

So, spend it freely and spread it far and wide. It's the one thing that is contagious that you will feel great being expose to.

Get caught up in it's fever.

Feel drenched and exhausted from

It's fire.

Sunrises and sunsets are the color of love as it throws it's warm hues as far as you can see.

It's the deepest blue of the ocean and the whitest of sand under toes.

Love is the top of the mountain with breathtaking vistas in all directions.

It's the softness of the cheek being kissed. 

A finger holds a gold band of love.

You hold a newborn's head.

Keep love alive in your life and you

will feel at the epicenter of your world that revolves with a purpose.

Cathy

Pink Pasture

Pink Pasture

As the sun is setting behind the trees of the  distant pasture, the thought of you crosses my mind. The sky is pink and the outline of the trees is dark in contrast.  Many nights I lay awake and try to remember the first time I went to your home town.  It was a small place but very cute. I had never been in the South before that day. I suppose in my mind I always thought that living in the country was something that I would never experience. The house was clean and neat. Lunch was ready and made to look like a buffet. It was some of the best food I have ever eaten. Your parents were especially kind to me. They asked me some questions about where I was from and about my family. They made me feel very much at home. After helping with the dishes from lunch, we went on a drive.  In in the fields there was cotton growing and also peanuts. Some other farms had corn in long rows. As we drove along, you pointed out your high school and other places in town that were of interest. You used to have a house that was built quite a long time ago that was a mansion complete with big columns out front. It had burned down just a few years earlier. There was a similar house directly across on the corner from where it used to stand. You described the home you lived in and I could only imagine what it was like to live in such a fine place.  Later on I was able to see the inside of that other house and it made me fall in love with the old antebellum homes even more.

We drove along some narrow roads out to your grandmother's  house. When we got there, she was in the garden. There were beautiful flowers of all kinds around her. Some of my favorite where the tiger lilies and the black eyed Susan's along the fence. You could see for many miles across the pasture land. Gentle rolling hills of grass with some cows and horses grazing leisurely. I remember sitting in one of the chairs just outside the back door and drinking some sweet tea. It was the most pleasant afternoon I had spent in quite a while. I went inside to use the restroom and noticed how small and sweet the place was. It consisted of two bedrooms, a livingroom and kitchen combination and to the side of the house there was a screened porch. On that porch there was a bed that  was surrounded by windows. They were cracked open and a gentle breeze was making the was curtains billow.  I  knew someday I would love to take a nap on that bed. I noticed the quilt on the bed. The pattern was called Dresden plate. To this day it is one of my most favorite patterns. The bathroom is small and functional really nothing to describe - do your business and get out. On my way outside, I saw another bedspread on the master bed. It was white chenille. On it there was a pattern of lilacs that  had been stitched. I thought it looked so beautiful.

When we left her house we drove a little further and stopped at a corner church. Across the road was a cemetery. You showed me where several of your relatives were buried. I felt as though I could live with this family if ever I had the chance. The week went quickly and I met many friends that you had grown up with and felt very comfortable around them. I flew home to Virginia and was busy with nursing school. You came to visit me every month and we spoke every week on Sundays. In December I said yes when asked to marry you. Your mother gave you her first diamond. You had it reset and in a new ring for me. I never felt so loved in all my life. Several months passed and we grew closer and more excited about our wedding on June 16. 

I saw our photograph again tonight.  Both of us are smiling and looking-very happy to be married.

When I think about those early days together,

it seems like yesterday.

The pink streaked sunset on the pasture will always make me smile and remember you. 

At This Moment

I often think of how blessed I am to be who I am.

I just read two stories in a magazine. One was of a famous person and one was of a woman like me. Both stories had their ups and disappointing downs. The common thread was that they stuck close with their family to make it work. Now I'm not saying you can't strike out on your own and achieve the same satisfaction. 

I'm just sharing who I am right now. 

I'm looking out the windows of my sister's home in Atlanta. The level of the windows is at mid tree height. The view is like a nature portrait of leaves in many shades of transition. Some are green, some yellow and some are brown. Bare limbs are prominent, too. 

A dog is barking in the distance. There is soft guitar music being played downstairs.

It's comforting with the sun shining through the stairwell window behind me and hitting my shoulders. Leaves flutter outside.

An old clock ticks it's metronome reminding me that time marches on second by second. I'll easily use up 3600 of them taking this all in.

I'm older. Not who I used to be yet the same as always. I can easily let my mind wander backwards. 

A hand made hammered silver cuff bracelet and three bangles glisten in the suns rays. I go back further to a time when the maker of those beautiful items, my brother-in-law, was gravely ill. I can not explain it other than being a miracle. The happiness I feel today in this moment of my life came as a result of many sad moments I have survived in the past. Just like that famous person and that woman like me.

Busted

Mom went out the door!

Curious cat as I am, I wanted to know where she went. I pushed on the kitchen door and it opened to my delight! She doesn't see that I'm out so I'll have to act quickly! I love this garage, man. There are so many things to check out. I've caught a few lizards in here. I've brought them inside and left them in the bedroom for mom to find. She must like them because she looks at me and says "thanks!" I crawl under the car. It feels warm under there so I sort of like that and lay down a minute looking out from underneath. She went next door a minute. She had a bag in her hand but now she doesn't have it any more.

I smelled something good in there earlier but she would not let me have any. Mom said it was a surprise for her neighbor. Hey, I kind of like it out here in the dark. I ran out into the yard and then faster to the next yard. I don't think she wants me out here and is calling my name. Gotta go!

I try hiding behind the rocker on the front porch. She sees me. The pumpkin is lit and gives me away. I give up and let her catch me. 

I get to sit on the soft chair next to her now. She looks at me and says I should not go out. "But, mom!"

Guess I'm grounded now. Think I'll take a cat nap.

Kiwi Windham

Like Me

Like Me

I leaned in close and whispered 

I didn't  know if you could hear

But every word I said to you sounded perfectly clear

Remember the day we walked along 

The hill was steep and wet

You held my hand tight in yours

Saying there was nothing to fret 

The stories you told 

were when you were young

Of things I needed to see

Important tips

to try and avoid

So you won't grow up

like me

I smoothed the hair on your brow

Each wrinkle I'll never forget

I held your hand tight in mine

Shh now, there is nothing to fret

Cathy

Peach Skies

Are there days of peach hued sunsets that you dream of?
Leaning on the railing of the sailboat and feeling the evening breeze on your face might remind you of those days.
It's such a short window of time when the sun starts to get tired and needs a rest for the night.
It sizzles on the fluid horizon.
Pink, orange and yellow streaks intermingle with the impatient moon hovering close by.
These are the moments of days promises. Just before you lose the light shining on water ripples like diamonds.
Make your wish.
One future tomorrow it will come true.
Cathy

The Sea Is Calling

Remember when you were first aware of the phone?

I do!  We got a new phone in our kitchen. It was mounted on the wall, dark yellow and push button. So neat not to have to dial a number by sticking your finger in a hole and pulling the dial around the circle.

Seemed so futuristic. Like we were finally entering the twentieth century. Wow.

I remember not being allowed on the phone very long. Maybe a few minutes at the most. 

Sometimes we would get a late night long distance call after 11pm because those rates were cheaper. 

Sometimes it was sad news and I would hear my mother crying. 

Other times we were called to the phone one by one to tell a relative we loved them.

Later on, we'd get s call to into invite us to a sleepover or birthday party. We'd always call before showing up. "Are you home, is it ok to come over?" We were taught phone etiquette. How to answer the phone courteously. You knew you better lest you were overheard by a parent!

A boy called!!

OMG, he actually called!

We lived for those calls.

We waited for those calls.

We can still hear their voices in our heads so many years later. 

Today we stare at a screen and type on it. 

How crazy the technology of communication has changed! 

I'm the world oldest geek grandma! I love this stuff.

But, I still wish my phone would ring. 

I hear myself yet my voice is not used. 

I think sometimes I can not hear because there is nothing said.

My eyes read what you want to say but do not want to say.  It's just not the same.

Further behind I seem to slip. Until one day someone says, I knew her. She had a nice smile and loved to talk. Anyone hear from her lately?

I used to have her phone number. Last I heard she was in Florida. 

 Excuse me, the sea is calling....

Dedicate Your Day

I stand and look down at the plaque near my toes

The name and date

of someone I know

It hits me that as time goes by

This name and date

their life signifies

Our future was in their hands for years

So make their efforts for us be clear

Do something in honor of their life

Shed no more tears

Alone

I suppose there are quite a few like me. Suddenly single and not knowing how to be alone. I could pretend I'm comfortable with it and sometimes I even fool myself.

But life is supposed to be shared with others. We need the conversation, opinions and engaging rapport. There is a need to do something for others. Sure there are many places to go and enjoy alone, but after awhile, it's nice to be home in a safe zone and feel that your presence is wanted by another human being. 

Daughters and sons with parents. Lovers on a stroll.

A hand to hold or someone to hug when you are cold. Touch.

There is the need to care for someone. They will heal quicker knowing they matter. We want to cheer them on and run beside them during a challenge. They need our cool hand on their fevered brow.

Hard work to provide food and comfort is done unselfishly. Time is your gift. The giving of your heart to please them is your goal.

Do on to others. Golden Rules. Patience and love.

If you have that you are going to be ok alone.

Cathy Windham

Kodachrome Memories

When I think of my most precious moments I have had, I just want to have them suspended in front of my mind like a virtual window of mini pix. Just like when I pull up my photo gallery on my phone, there they are. I click on one. I am there. 

It stresses me out to think any photo is wandering out there in cyber space and I can't find it yet know it is there. 

I wonder why this is with me? Am I afraid that time will steal my memory forever? All those wonderful moments I saw through a lens are my mind. I consciously thought that was a moment worth preserving.

I have thousands of digital photos and others in print.

I love all of them for one reason or another. 

Sometimes when I go through old ones that my father took or others I see a time they saw through their lens. It was expensive to get professional prints made. Casual Kodachrome slides ruled for a while and 8 mm home movies. We sat on the beach squinting into the sun. Parents sat and smoked on Christmas as we tore into gifts and threw paper.

Family reunions had us gathered in tight groups to get everyone in. Sometimes we hated our hair or that we were a little overweight and hid behind someone else! You know that's true. 

But in the end, we were enjoying our lives. Living and having fun. 

So, next time you browse through the old photo boxes at mom's house, remember they were preserving their happiness for you to enjoy today!

Cathy Windham 

Universal Tears

Tears Are Universal

I just saw something that made me smile and think of the joy of being a mom. It was a newborn baby crying. That cute wail with it's mouth wide open. Looks like a starving baby bird in a nest.

Melts my heart every time.

Chubby hands & feet. Multiple jelly rolls. Soft down hair. Your child.

All babies thrive on love and it matters not that maybe they receive that love from their birth mother or from another mother. It's the bond that  they know they are safe and loved that matters.

There is no difference in tears shed of an infant or a mom. They cry together whether out of pain, sadness or joy. They are as one.

It's ok to cry on Mother's Day.

Miss you, Mom

Cathy Windham

5/2/16

Purple Piuse

When we lose an icon there is sadness all around

The world weeps its tears 

Staining purple on the ground

The love that he shared was his life unveiled

Some could never see

Including me, to no avail

A painting of bright colors

His  mind was a rhapsody 

Of blossoms in full bloom

We were only the seed

We held back and did not dream 

At the same pace as his mind

Only too late we will learn

the message he wanted us to find 

So sing your hearts melody

To an unfamiliar tune

What you want understood

Unveils itself too soon

Cathy Windham

4/22/16

Fire Pit Plans

There were days when we could go all day doing our own thing.  I'd get together with one or both of our girls or a friend and go get lunch and do some shopping.  You'd get greasy and dirty working on restoring a classic car. I'd get home and come in with several bags of deals. Often it was for the grands or someone's birthday or other celebration gift.  I'd show you my kill.

Then you'd rev the engine for me to hear it roar.  I'd pull up a lawn chair out in your garage chock full of tools and car parts. You hand me a beer from the little fridge. The radio is playing our local country station loudly above the huge fan blade noise. I look around the walls of this  three bay garage you built. A girl wears Daisy Dukes and a tight fitting crop top on a calendar 

and there are things hanging on nails, stuff scattered in the floor and a flood light underneath the car. You lay on a rolling board and only your legs and dirty jeans and shoes are poking out. I'm asked for a tool. "Somewhere over there!" Miracles do happen and I find what he's looking for!

In a little while I go inside and start to fix something for dinner as you finally stop for the day and come in to shower and throw your clothes in the washer. 

We sit out on the porch and eat enjoying each other's presence, music and another beer.

Later, after dark, you light a fire in the fire pit.

The glow of orange and yellow flames somehow soothe the spirit. Seems kind of primitive in a way. We talk of what is coming up for our few days off together. Where we might go and do. Many times plans were made very quickly without much notice. "Let's go to the Keys! Or, want to make a trip to Midland City?" Right then and there we'd set our minds in fast motion to make a reservation or call the folks and tell them we'd be there the next day for a visit. Spontaneity ruled the wild spirit!

I miss those weekend impromptu trips. Hard to get through a weekend now without thinking of those days. Nothing fancy, just fun times.

When people remark "Life is short." They are absolutely right.

Don't wait. Just close your eyes, dream and go! You'll think back one day just like I am now and be happy with memories made while you could.

Open Heart

At night I lie in wonder

With my broken heart

Guarded and protected 

Crying in the dark

Expensive wine flows in my glass

I take a little sip

Time is forgotten for a moment 

Want to taste this on your lips

So in my solitude I wait

The moon glows on my skin

I turn over the tear stained pillow

In my dreams I let you in

Cathy Windham

4/7/16

Diamond Curtain

The sun rising shined directly in my eye.

It's so bright it's like a

blinding search light.

At first it peeked through the fence slat and then through some branches

I turned my face into it.

I felt it was you and could not turn away.

When I did, I had a shadow in my vision resembling a face.

I said how much I loved and missed you and turned my gaze back into the blinding sunshine.

The beam of light continued to flood me and I felt warm and captured in that moment of seeing  particles shine like diamond dust.

Cathy

3/21/16

She

She's the glue of your family. The woman you call when you are hurting. She listens and sometimes answers a question with another question. She can break your heart with the lifting of an eyebrow. She's also the one to dry your tears with her thumb as you stand face to face.

How does she manage to pull it all together when a few minutes ago it was falling apart? She may have made mistakes, too. Or, she watched as mistakes were made by others and learned by them. She looks you in the eye and vows to protect your heart. You believe. She can pull off a gathering of friends with barely a sweat. She uses all the good stuff on her family and friends. You know how to pray and thank because of her guidance. Manners matter. Her heart is gold and her life is simple. Her only dream is to see you smile and be happy. 

Hug her, call her, visit her, be there for her, praise her and love her. Life comes from her. You are you because of her.

Cathy Windham

Turning Upright Body, Mind & Soul

Have you ever thought that something like walking would be hard? It is.
Watch a baby try. Witness a person in rehab relearn how to balance and coordinate their moves. Allowing help is critical to success. So is a lot of determination.

These are the same things needed when faced with a challenge that has rocked your world and thrown you flat on your back.

Injury, Illness, depression, loss.

A broken inner core can not support you.

The turtle on it's back. Try, try, try. Wiggle, squirm and rock. If enough action is taken, they can flip themselves upright. A helping person might reach out and turn them upright.
Off they scamper.  But if they don't try, they will remain stuck.

So, make yourself move.
Stick your head out of your protective shell. Do those things that are hard to do again. Hands are reaching out to you and will help pull you back upright.

Your outlook improves.

Trust them,
Trust God.
Trust yourself, too!

Cathy Windham