I’ve Got Your Back

I’ve Got Your Back

by Cathy Windham

I was talking with a friend tonight driving back home. It’s always a good time to catch up and see how each others day has been and laugh a little, too. Besties can do that easily then go three weeks or much more without contact or feeling judged. Life. 

So the topic got on to what makes a great friend and who really “has your back?” Now we know what makes a great friend because we’ve been friends many years now. But, I can honestly tell you, we had long periods of time dealing with some very serious shit in our lives when we wanted to be there for each other and couldn’t for one reason or another. 

You miss them greatly but respect their space as they respect yours “It’ll all work out,” you tell yourself and it does. 

You give of yourself and your time. You’d give it again and again knowing they’ve got your back when it really matters. When you have to let loose and spill, 

you know they’ll wipe up the ugly tears and spilled drink. 

They’ll shelter you and and secrets you exposed. 

They’ll be vulnerable, too. When your bestie has your back. 

You know who you are....

Your Moment

Your Moment

by Cathy Windham

Living in your moment sounds so effortless doesn’t it? After all, we are in charge of our decisions are we not? So why do we think that living in our moment is something that is unrealistic? So many questions and just as many answers as to why we behave this way. 

One is putting ourselves last. We do that a lot.  To put ourselves first is selfish and frowned upon. Doing for others in our lives overshadows our own needs and desires. To be the giver forces us to be focused on service to others. A gift of yourself. 

Always giving depletes resources.

Another reason is worthiness. Often we do not see ourselves as worthy or important as those we serve. Working tirelessly every day to provide is difficult. It can leave one depleted of joy on a daily basis.

Our needs get shoved further and further away. We fail to recognize them or acknowledge their existence. They fall off the radar.

Years can pass with this relentless weight on us. We need to learn to lighten our emotional load. Some crack under their own pressure. Others tear down the very thing they spent precious time building up. By then it’s much too late. 

So, to get your life back on an equal level to those you serve may be the key to survival. Invest a few minutes of time each day to your emotional health. Pray, meditate, exercise, read, paint, play music, sing or nap. 

It won’t matter what you choose as long as the result brings you happiness and peace living in your moment.

Reset

Reset

by Cathy Windham

Sometimes when I’m home alone,  I wonder why days go by at such a slow pace. As if time’s clock got stuck. The second hand gets hung up and jerks in place going nowhere. On those days, thoughts can invade my mind and play tricks on me. Was it really time to wake up that morning? Did I forget to sleep last night? Am I stuck on a journey through fog and lost my way? I have self doubt and feel as though nothing is very important in my life.  I am alone and that is a very frightening place to be.

It wasn’t always this way. I was always so busy and going in so many directions at one time that I may have wondered how I ever got from one day to the next. A day when I could really relax and enjoy myself was needed in the worst possible way.  I managed to make that happen somehow. For me it was not planned out very well though. When I should have slowed down a year earlier I didn’t. I pushed through the difficult months of that last year at work. I never knew what the future would bring. I hoped and prayed only fun days were ahead to be enjoyed. Endless glee. Constant happiness. Perfect endings. I was wrong.

I found myself in a space lacking oxygen for five years. Barely aware of who I was and why I was still alive and able to get from day to day. I still accomplished so many physical challenges much to my surprise.  I really thought at the time I was doing ok. I think I had many people fooled, too.  I learned to suppress some emotions and express others. I came out of a cocoon in a sense a very changed person.

I would say this transformation in myself is very overdue. But, as anything that is yearned for and worked on slowly to get it right, it took every bit of that slow paced time invested to see results that will bolster me and keep me going forward into an uncertain yet happier future. 

I’ve reset my clock ahead to the time I need to be in right here and right now.