Be The Keeper

We are enriched by those we have loved and lost. I keep all that was good about them in me. I’m reminded of them every time I hear a favorite song or see a special place we enjoyed. 

Truly blessed to be the keeper until it’s time to turn them and myself over to others. Until then smile though your heart aches. ❤️

Happy Fathers Day

Being a widow on Fathers Day is hard. Hard knowing that the father of your children is not here to witness a great family celebration for him. 

It’s bitter sweet. The memories the photos the the quiet moments with them sleeping in your arms. He was supposed to always be here to help them. 

You were the person who fixed most everything. Your calm voice and arm around their shoulder. The voice of reason and clarity. Those are missed. 

The guiding hand on the bicycle seat and the lessons from the passenger seat while learning to drive gave reassurance of safety. 

Your instinctive ability to know what was right and ability to help you realize “why” when it was not. 

Adult children looked up to you to help with their growing children. You gave them a mans perspective on life. 

You opened the door to a side of you they could relate to over a cold beer or cup of coffee. 

So to all those dads who made a huge difference in your children’s lives and you are now the lone parent, Happy Fathers Day! 

Do what he would he gave wanted to do today in his honor. 

Cheers to dad!

Why Can’t Somebody Keep Me Safe?

Sounds like a song title, doesn’t it?
I’m laying in bed late at night wondering why this hit me so hard at this moment.
I’m happy or at least I have been striving to be happy for several years now. Why tonight?
Maybe it’s because of this isolation I’m in. The Covid-19 pandemic affecting our whole world for the past few months.
It has literally tilted our world and wrecked havoc on society. Nothing is the same and every day it is so confusing.
I am alone a lot. I know I am not the only one feeling like this. It’s very depressing to say the least. Many have died. Mostly those with underlying medical conditions.  I am blessed with good health and a knowledge of how to navigate through a world of dangerous pathogens.
No cure for it and no vaccine for some time.
So why do I cry?
I want security like everyone else does.
I want reassurance that life will be carefree again.
Spontaneous and effortless in a sense. I want my normal back that I fought so hard to have after loss.
It’s hard, I can’t lie. I won’t pretend it does not affect me. I try not to let it show on the surface how concerned I am.
My kids, my grands future world is in a world of uncertainty.
Please, let there be a way to make our world safe again.
I need to know that working on my future is an important goal.
It’s hard to do that alone.

I Miss You

I miss waking up and seeing you still asleep

I miss you making promises you intended to keep

I miss you in my dreams as I sleep 

I miss you wiping my tears as I weep 

I miss being enclosed in your warm embrace

I miss your kiss after lifting the veil from my face

I miss the days we had and all the days ahead

I miss the afternoon naps as we lay on the bed

I miss wondering what you are thinking

I miss us on the back porch drinking

I miss the shine in your eyes as we look to the sky

I miss days that become nights with you by my side

I miss walking the beach at low tide

I miss all these things 

I miss you