Smiles held in the heart

Smiles held in the heart
Smiles held in the heart

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

The Hummingbird

Hummingbird

There was a little hummingbird
Who hovered
In front of me

Wings that blurred
As he flew back and forth
Darting from blossoms
Straight to me

I sat transfixed
And held my breathe
Tiny eyes stared at mine

I longed to touch him
On painted crest
Feel his heart beat in
Time with mine

I knew in my heart
He was sent to me
To calm a turbulent mind

All I can do is believe he's
Free
God only sends the best
For the moment I'm happy
I wipe my tears
and send all my
Love to his nest

Cathy Windham
4/30/14

Friday, April 11, 2014

Going Home

Going Home

He loved going  home.
Always excited to see his family and the people he grew up with.
In a split second decision he'd announce, "let's go home for the weekend!"
Nothing made him more happy.

We drove too fast getting there.  Seems he just couldn't wait to sit down in the yard with a glass of sweet tea and talk.
News travels fast in a tiny country town.  "Jimmy's coming home!"
Olga would start thawing out chicken to fry and put a mess of peas, butter beans, corn and okra on the stove for dinner.  Homemade biscuits or corn bread in the oven.  Pecan pie or a cobbler teased any diet of mine.  Dinner was lunch.  Supper was dinner.  It didn't matter.  Everyone came over.  We ate together.  Gallons of tea consumed.  Some was probably spiked without others knowing!

"We'll be back after awhile, he would say.  Going to Dowling's farm!"
Jimmy, Jerry & Mike would get in the pick up and head out.
A few miles away, they traveled down the dirt road to an open field.  The property belonged to their friend Dowling Richards.  He was like an older brother to them.  They used to go there as kids to camp out and go frog gigging or shoot the shot gun.  Many a smoke or beer enjoyed over a camp fire.  Talking about things guys talk about and don't tell girls or wives!
Memories of bygone years are strewn in the farm.  Every old car or truck or discarded farm equipment was there.  Rusting in the humidity.
Home to snakes, fighting game cocks, and a few horses in the pasture.
It is a beautiful piece of Alabama land if all that junk could be cleared.  But then, it would lose it's charm.  They wouldn't want to hang out there if it was all perfect.

Hours later they come home.  Supper is ready and we eat.  The table is full and we sit where we can or stand in the tiny kitchen.  Into the evening conversation and laughter continue.  Some friends stop by and stay awhile.  They don't tire of each other's company.

These "doses of home" as I always called them, are what I think has kept this family always close.  No matter the distance or the circumstance, if you could just go home for a few days you could deal with what life has in store that you have to escape.

You can't put a value on this type of therapy.  It's tried and proven to heal even the most broken of hearts.

Cathy Windham
4/11/14


Friday, April 4, 2014

Conquered Goals

Pushing yourself up and over an obstacle is a feat of endurance, strength and will.
I really wish there was a way to make it easier and have come to realize that the mental component is probably the strongest and most important force.
You can train and get yourself in tip top shape, you can adhere to a rigorous schedule.
But, without the mind as your key, you will stall.  You will talk yourself out of the risk, skip the pain and miss out on the rewards of your labor.
Confidence, determination, steadfastness, bravery, courage, faith will push you over that crest.  The slide into the other side will be a thrill you have earned!
Yippee!!!!!

Cathy Windham
5/1/13

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Counting My Blessings

Counting My Blessings

I watch with pride as a group of young girls kick the soccer ball into each others goal nets.  Determination etches their young faces.  Their bold spirit exhibited.  No frills on the field.  Pure energy!

I listened to a seagull laugh it seemed at me as I crossed the parking lot.  I sure wanted to laugh back but soon realized how ridiculous that would be.
Instead I counted my blessings on this mild breezy Spring day.

Headed into the restaurant I ordered and took a seat by the window.
The couple across from me were about my age.  They assisted their adult wheelchair confined daughter with her meal.  She should have been able to play soccer I think sadly. I wonder what her life story is.  It was sweet to witness their interaction with her.  Devoted parents.  Loved daughter.
I counted my blessings.

A young college age girl using her laptop made some odd gestures as she talked it seemed to herself.  Signs of Aspergers evident in her mannerisms.  She got up loaded her things on her bike and peddled off continuing to mouth a silent conversation all the while.  Happy girl with pretty hair in the sunshine.

The umbrellas struggle in the stiff wind on the other side of the window.
A lady reads under one of them.  She is alone like me.  I wonder does she feel like this, too?  A crumb is fed to one of the begging birds near her chair.  Lucky bird.

I finished up and went about my day.  Filling up the minutes of hours thinking of ordinary moments.

A lady asks me for money for gas but I don't have enough cash.
But when I finish filling my thirsty car, I swipe my card and give hers a drink to fill it up.  Her little girl smiles through the dirty car window at me.

Each day is a new one as I learn how to be me.

Today I have had a blessed day!

Cathy Windham
3/30/14

Counting My Blessings

Counting My Blessings

I watch with pride as a group of young girls kick the soccer ball into each others goal nets.  Determination etches their young faces.  Their bold spirit exhibited.  No frills on the field.  Pure energy!

I listened to a seagull laugh it seemed at me as I crossed the parking lot.  I sure wanted to laugh back but soon realized how ridiculous that would be.
Instead I counted my blessings on this mild breezy Spring day.

Headed into the restaurant I ordered and took a seat by the window.
The couple across from me were about my age.  They assisted their adult wheelchair confined daughter with her meal.  She should have been able to play soccer I think sadly. I wonder what her life story is.  It was sweet to witness their interaction with her.  Devoted parents.  Loved daughter.
I counted my blessings.

A young college age girl using her laptop made some odd gestures as she talked it seemed to herself.  Signs of Aspergers evident in her mannerisms.  She got up loaded her things on her bike and peddled off continuing to mouth a silent conversation all the while.  Happy girl with pretty hair in the sunshine.

The umbrellas struggle in the stiff wind on the other side of the window.
A lady reads under one of them.  She is alone like me.  I wonder does she feel like this, too?  A crumb is fed to one of the begging birds near her chair.  Lucky bird.

I finished up and went about my day.  Filling up the minutes of hours thinking of ordinary moments.

A lady asks me for money for gas but I don't have enough cash.
But when I finish filling my thirsty car, I swipe my card and give hers a drink to fill it up.  Her little girl smiles through the dirty car window at me.

Each day is a new one as I learn how to be me.

Today I have had a blessed day!

Cathy Windham
3/30/14

Thursday, March 20, 2014

The Best Dream

The Best Dream

By Cathy Windham
3/20/14

Sun shines like gold upon her hair and sparkling tendrils blow across a freckled brow
as she digs in the sand at the shore line.

Montgomery crouches low and she discovers a shark tooth.
Washing away the sand in the next wave, unveils a perfect specimen.  She holds it up to the sunlight.
Serrated edges and a sharp point at one end.
It's a big one.  Wondering how old it is or how big the shark was that lost it makes her mind spin.  In a way it's frightening.  What if he were to come back and claim his tooth?
She runs to safety and squeals in delight with the treasure.  "Mom, look what I found!"

Keckley examines it with a serious look on her face.  "I do declare, Montgomery, this is a real fossil!"  "Why, I just think this might be the biggest one I've ever seen!"  "Really?", Montgomery said.  "Maybe it needs to go to a museum or something!", she said.

That night as she lay in bed with the shark tooth under her pillow, Montgomery started thinking about the life of that shark.  She loved all animals.  Her thoughts turned to dreams.


Chapter 2

"I'll call him Sleek!", mother shark said.
He swims with such ease so soon after his birth.
Mother shark watched him closely.  She was so proud of her first born.
Instinctively he knew how to avoid harm.  Yet he was feared by all the other young fish in the cove.  He tried to be nice to them yet they bubbled their shock and swam quickly for cover.  Sadly Sleek managed to do things on his own.  He did not understand why no one liked his company.
He grew quickly and soon found himself leaving the security of the quiet cove where he was born.  He explored many places off the coast of Ponte Vedra, FL.  He made his way into the depths of the ocean looking for adventure.  There must be a fishing tournament.  Schools of  kingfish darted in all directions avoiding large hooks tethered to the boats he could see.  He was so hungry but knew he was in dangerous waters.  Yet, he could not resist the fresh bait odor tempting him.  Maybe if I'm careful I can get that bait and not get caught.
Sleek lunged at the large hunk of bait.  His mouth caught the hook right behind his tooth.  Immediately he jerked at the line and thrashed in the current to free himself.
He could feel the line getting tight.  He dove deep.  Searing pain tore at his mouth.  Then suddenly he was free!
"Whew, that was too close!"  Then he realized he had pulled out his tooth trying to get free.
He did not worry about it because he had many more that would take it's place.

The tooth floated free and down to the bottom of the ocean floor.  There it sat for many, many years.  It was washed along with the tides.  It rolled in the turbulent sand during storms.  It settled along a rocky edge of the jetty.

One night a powerful hurricane churned the ocean floor and carried the tooth miles from where Sleek had lost it so long ago.

Chapter 3

"That was the best dream, mom. Let me tell you all about it!", Montgomery said climbing up into her mothers arms.

The End






Wednesday, March 19, 2014

A moment in your memory can throw you off track...

Evolution Of Heartache

My heart hurts from the blow.  An emotional knock out similar to the magnitude of  an earthquake.  It starts so unexpectedly.  I recall a memory.  A tender moment in my past.
You are there with me as always.  Your young look.  Hair a little long and unstyled.  Body a little dirty with a tear in your jeans.  That quick kiss that sets my heart on fire but sends you to the shower because you feel stinky.  I want time to stop right there.
Let me remember that insignificant moment as you got out of the truck kicking your boot against the stair before you went inside.  I follow.
I fast forward to the present and feel desperate and a bit out of breathe.  Not finding you just around the corner of my mind.  You were just there.

Cathy
3/19/14