Looking Back

Looking Back
by Cathy Windham

Where does the time go?
I used to have so much.  Days lasted
forever.  Once when I was sick with the flu, I swore I thought I would never get well.  After that, it was exam week and I was certain each day of torture would never end.  The day I missed the bus lasted forever until I could explain to my dad when he got home from work.  That day was especially long.  Snow days lasted for days!  I remember playing all day and well into the night.  I had no clue what time it was.  The kids down the street stayed little forever in my mind.
Time ticked by and I did not notice.
The first time the clock snuck up on me I was graduating college and marrying the following week.  Planning my wedding, studying, exams and graduation occured the same week.  It was over before I could blink.  State Board exams, cooking, cleaning, finding a job and working happened in unison.  Children, working, wife, cleaning and gym mom consumed my days.  Years marched on like weeks.
Disease diagnosis slowed the days to
a standstill as we breathed slowly
and tried to take it all in and make the most of each precious minute together.
Where does the time go?  It evaporated like the mist on my bathroom mirror.

Cathy Windham
8/17/14

Torn Heart

The tear in your heart is real. The scar may not show but you will always know it is there. Take pride in your ability to heal from such a painful tear. 💔

Grateful

The last 9 years have brought the biggest challenges. Cancer invaded and conquered 5 yrs ago. I have to say that having gone through that awful period of time, I am stronger, more patient, more empathetic, more loving, more ready than ever to continue living while taking that love I lost with me in my heart forever. That won’t change. I am thankful and grateful to have had such an exceptional 40 yr period of my life with my husband. I carry on and life is good. The future holds much in store for my life going forward. ❤️

Pathway To Tomorrow

Pathway to Tomorrow
by Cathy Windham

Don’t be afraid to find another you
One that God had planned ahead
Worry versus fear
You must choose which will live in your head

Soon lies a future for you
One that you will steer
be strong and brave in your belief
you will overcome your fears

Today starts a new day
one full of goodness and relief
One you can smile upon
and fully release your grief

Ocean Emotion

Ocean Emotion

by Cathy Windham

Napping on the the beach

Water lapping on the shore 

All I want is you here

My love,  forever more

Everyone here looks happy

As they play upon the sand

I lay right here and dream of us

Walking hand in hand

I am here with you

Where forever you will be

I close my eyes and dream of us

In the sunshine by the sea

I’ve Got Your Back

I’ve Got Your Back

by Cathy Windham

I was talking with a friend tonight driving back home. It’s always a good time to catch up and see how each others day has been and laugh a little, too. Besties can do that easily then go three weeks or much more without contact or feeling judged. Life. 

So the topic got on to what makes a great friend and who really “has your back?” Now we know what makes a great friend because we’ve been friends many years now. But, I can honestly tell you, we had long periods of time dealing with some very serious shit in our lives when we wanted to be there for each other and couldn’t for one reason or another. 

You miss them greatly but respect their space as they respect yours “It’ll all work out,” you tell yourself and it does. 

You give of yourself and your time. You’d give it again and again knowing they’ve got your back when it really matters. When you have to let loose and spill, 

you know they’ll wipe up the ugly tears and spilled drink. 

They’ll shelter you and and secrets you exposed. 

They’ll be vulnerable, too. When your bestie has your back. 

You know who you are....

Your Moment

Your Moment

by Cathy Windham

Living in your moment sounds so effortless doesn’t it? After all, we are in charge of our decisions are we not? So why do we think that living in our moment is something that is unrealistic? So many questions and just as many answers as to why we behave this way. 

One is putting ourselves last. We do that a lot.  To put ourselves first is selfish and frowned upon. Doing for others in our lives overshadows our own needs and desires. To be the giver forces us to be focused on service to others. A gift of yourself. 

Always giving depletes resources.

Another reason is worthiness. Often we do not see ourselves as worthy or important as those we serve. Working tirelessly every day to provide is difficult. It can leave one depleted of joy on a daily basis.

Our needs get shoved further and further away. We fail to recognize them or acknowledge their existence. They fall off the radar.

Years can pass with this relentless weight on us. We need to learn to lighten our emotional load. Some crack under their own pressure. Others tear down the very thing they spent precious time building up. By then it’s much too late. 

So, to get your life back on an equal level to those you serve may be the key to survival. Invest a few minutes of time each day to your emotional health. Pray, meditate, exercise, read, paint, play music, sing or nap. 

It won’t matter what you choose as long as the result brings you happiness and peace living in your moment.