Forty Year Itch

I haven't been forty in almost twenty years now.  But, I know it is a pivotal point in one's life.  I look back on the last forty years and know without a doubt they were the very best of times.  On 6/16/13
I would have had my fortieth wedding anniversary.  It is a very special day in our family celebrated by several who chose this same date to add to the strong love chain.  The newest addition to our love chain on 6/16/13 will be my daughter Wendy and her fiancé, Jason Hatcher.  They met when she was twelve and he was fifteen.  You never forget your first love and now they are making it a reality.

As I think about age and it's influence on our lives and the choices we make along the way, I can't help but come away feeling like it was just the way I wanted it to be.  I only wish I still had my love
of my life to finish it with me.  But, I have his legacy in our children and grand children to enjoy and plan with.  That is my goal.
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A lot of people fear their fortieth year.  It's like a curse to them.  The beginning of the end.
Up until that time, I suppose it was all the thrills and adventures they could ever squash into four decades that counted as to who they were or would ever be.

The first decade is spent being molded and shaped by parents and educators and other mentors.  So many goals achieved in a very short period of time on earth.  The independent spirit of a child bursting at the seams to go and do and experience for the first time all those things that are fun and bring pleasure.  A sponge soaking up knowledge from all influences.  A playful world.

The wonder years of being a teen can not go by fast enough.  Always wanting to be older.  Learning
at a level that exceeds their parents.  Creative thinking flourishes.  Body changes that happen seemingly over night.  Emotional growing pains at the loss of a friend's life well before their time.  Daring behavior.  Risk and defiance.  Exploration of physical desire.  Educators challenged.

A new independent world of knowledge.  Freedom to choose ones life path.  Living in diversity in college and the workplace.  Financial restrictions.  Life on a day by day basis a mix of necessity and excitement.  Twenty-four hours can not hold all the plans.  Everything all at once.  Priorities askew.  Always on the fringe of broke.  Some successes and many failures.

Commitment, excitement and anticipation of love and family growth push old goals aside.  Streaming energy from oneself to another's desires.  Planning for futures together.  A more solid foundation under their feet as they meet challenges and successes together.  Their children relying on their guidance and support.  Putting ones self last.

So when the year arrives that causes a reflection on the past, is there fear and anger at a lack of goals met?  Or is there happiness that those things desired were met to the best of your ability to make them happen?  Beyond this milestone are many more. Pull in all your resources and make your future matter.  Only you can make that happen.

Cathy Windham
6/7/13