Smiles held in the heart

Smiles held in the heart
Smiles held in the heart

Friday, June 21, 2013

Remember When: Gecko Shores

Remember When: Gecko Shores

Gecko Shores


Gecko Shores
by, Cathy Windham
6/21/13

"Don't wander far." momma cautioned.  She watched her babies scurry from the sandy dune.  Their trail led straight to the water's edge where foam danced on the water like a lace edged curtain in the breeze.  Lifted into the shallow depth of the undertow they drifted further and further away from her.  Noting the area, Tuttle knew she would return home again but later when she would become a mother.  Right now all she wanted was adventure.  To discover this cool liquid that surrounded and buoyed her.  So many sights of things she did not know of.  Sand and shells tumbling on the ocean floor shifted themselves to be tossed on the bank like treasures for scavengers.  Brilliant rays of sun cutting through the surface of the tide lit the way like a flashlight.   

Safely coming back to the surface, she breathed deeply as a tiny sea turtle could.  She could see the lights from the houses on the shore getting smaller and dimmer.  Alone and not knowing what to do, she just listened to her heart and swam.  Opening her mouth she nibbled on the seaweed.  Darting schools of 
glittering fish sailed by not noticing her.  "Hi, who are you?" asked a clam.  " I hardly ever get visitors." she said.  "I'm Tuttle and I just got here today.  Can you help me in any way?  I need to get back home to my mother."  Camilla just sat there and said "You can't go home now.  You must grow much larger.  There are many dangers and it will be hard.  You must hide and stay away from large fish who will eat you!"  Tuttle's eyes grew larger and she was more afraid than ever!  "I will be careful." she said.  "I'll come back to visit you."  

Waves crashed and chewed at the sand.  The small cottage sat at the water's edge on stilts.  Aging in the sun after years of exposure made the wood on the siding turn gray.
A large porch allowed for relaxing afternoons in the sea breeze and gave the impression that life at the beach was the only way one could ever collect their thoughts.

Gecko  crawled along the edge of the driftwood and paused.  His throat expanded in a flash of red.  He saw her at the edge of the sea grass on the dune and hoped she would notice him.  Such a beautiful girl with golden brown hair that sparkled in the sun.  "I wonder if she is afraid of lizards like me."
The girl walked closer and then stopped and crouched down to stare at Gecko.
She had huge brown eyes and long dark lashes.  She did not act scared at all.  She called to him to come as she held out her palm slowly.  He had never allowed this before but wanted to go.  He stepped onto her fingertips and into the soft cushion of her palm.  She lifted him up to her face and observed him closely and cooed as she gently pet his head.  He flashed his money at her again and she squealed in laughter.  "There you go."  She let him go along the tall grass.  

"Mommy, I found a friend today!  He is a gecko and so tiny and bright green.  I wanted to keep him but I know you told me they can't be pets or they will die so I let him go.  I wonder if I'll ever see him again."  Her mother nodded her head and said, "That's nice , Tammy.  You never know when you will meet a new friend!"   "I must go start dinner, so you can stay here but do not go into the water.  The surf is too rough and I can't watch you". Just play out here in the sand and I'll call you in."

So a love for the shore developed on that June day.  Tuttle, Camilla, Gecko and Tammy had so much to do and explore that summer.  Each of them would never be the same again.

Tammy slept that night with the window to her room open in order to hear the ocean waves.  It had a rhythm that matched her breathing.  She could see the reflection of the moon on the water.  It shone like a wavy squiggle in a line that came right up to the sand.  Gecko saw it, too from his hiding place under the railing of the porch.  He wondered what it was like out there in the water.  He could not swim and was afraid to go too far away from the house where he could find food and see Tammy.  She came out on the porch just then in her white nightgown.  He stayed in place and watched her as she sat in the rocker and pulled her legs up under the gown and hugged her knees.  She was amazing and not like any of the other humans who either screamed or tried to squash him.
He loved the way her hair was always messy from the wind and fell across her eyes.  Slowly he emerged from under the rail to get a better glimpse.  Just then, Tammy saw him and leaned forward to look closer at him.  Gecko darted along the rail and up the side of the wall.  Tammy called for him not to be afraid because she was his friend.  "Peek a boo, I see you!" she called softly.  Gecko flashed his bright red throat at her and the light from the moon made it glow.

Tuttle came to the surface and floated awhile not moving.  It was a very long day spent swimming from shell to shell and eating along the long grasses that grew from the sand in the shallow areas.  She liked it here because she could hide and rest easily whenever she wanted without feeling afraid.  She stopped to see her friend Camilla.  They hung out together awhile then she moved on.   She saw a large flat fish on the bottom of the ocean floor.  It had a very long tail and when it swam the wings seemed to spread way out and flap at the tips.
There were bright blue and yellow fish that went by in huge groups.  They all swam close together and darted in the same direction when the sting ray was close.

She could see the little cottage in the moon light.  There was a girl on the porch in a white gown playing.  "I want to go there, but I know it is not safe.  I will some day but will have to just stay close and maybe she will see me if she comes swimming.  Tuttle watched as long as she dared then swam to the safety of the seaweed and rested.

Tammy curled up in her bed and thought of her summer days spent at the beach.  She was an only child and her mother was not married.  She did not know her father and had only seen him a few times at Christmas.  She preferred the long summer days at the shore where she could play for hours in the sand alone.  She pretended she had a brother or sister.  Mommy said that would never happen so she made friends with the little creatures she found around the cottage.  Last summer she had a pet crab.  She tried to keep it cooped up in a box but it got out.  She saw him scurrying along the sand toward the water and burrow down into the sand to escape her reach.  This time she was sure her friend Gecko would not run from her.  Tammy slipped out of bed and opened her window and quietly called to him.  The breeze off the ocean was soft and slightly humid and damp.  Gecko scampered from under the porch and along the side of the wall that led to Tammy's room.  He appeared on the window sill and stopped.  Tammy couldn't believe her eyes!  "Hello, you!  Where have you been today? ",she said softly.  Gecko just tilted his head and hopped through the window and onto the dresser.  He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and it startled him so much he jumped down to the floor and into the safety of darkness under the bed.  Peeking under the dust ruffle, Tammy called to him gently.  "It's ok, Gecko.  You are so handsome and don't even know it, do you?  You can stay there if you want but it's ok and safe here in my room.  I'll leave the window open a little for you and you can come in and out whenever you want!"  Gecko stayed under the bed all night.  He  was so happy not to have to worry
about the cat that came around at night looking or him.  In the morning he left before Tammy awoke and scampered to the rail to get warm from the early morning sun rays.

Tuttle was munching on some soft algae on the  log at the edge of the shore.  She liked it there and saw other little fish darting for safety whenever she came near.  Her shell was getting bigger and very hard.  Exploring the area she was in awe of the beauty in all the animals and plants that lived there.  This was a wonderful place to grow up.  But she was not happy.  She did not know how to go home and wanted to see her mother again.

One afternoon Tammy was wading along the beach.  She had been warned to not go into the surf alone.  She saw a large shell in the water just beyond where she was standing and decided to go just a little further and get it.  Just then a large wave knocked her down and tumbled her in the sand.  She gasped for breath as the undertow pulled her further under the surface and another wave crashed over her.  She floated and closed her eyes.  For a moment she pretended she was a mermaid.  She would swim away under water to a magical place in the sea.  She would become friends with all the fish that lived there.  Tuttle saw her floating in the water.  She came right up to her and felt her cheek with her fin.  Tammy's eyes were closed but popped oped when she felt Tuttle's touch.  She rose to the surface of the water and coughed.  She had no idea where she was.  Tuttle crawled out of the water and looked at her at eye level lying on the sand.  She tried to tell her not to worry.  She would be safe there with her.

Gecko came to the bedroom window but Tammy was not there that night.  He heard her mother crying to a man with a blue uniform on.  He wanted to know what was the matter.  Where was Tammy?  Gecko went from  house to house along the shore looking for her.  He looked all night long without any luck.

In the meantime, Tuttle worked hard to  keep Tammy warm by covering her with leaves and seaweed as she slept.  She had seen a boat go by further out in the water. 

Tammy opened her eyes.
She reached up and removed some seaweed from her face.  With just her eyes she looked around.
Above her were some palm trees.  The long tassels waved in the breeze and cast a long strip of shade
across the sand dune.
To each side were long stretches of beach littered with driftwood and shells.
A few seagulls flew over the water surface.  Tammy's feet could feel the tickle of the water as each new wave touched the shore where she lay.
Tuttle watched her at a distance.  She had never seen a girl before.  She crawled out of hiding and close enough to be seen.
Tammy reached out to her
and wiggled her fingers to come closer.  Tuttle did and Tammy lifted herself up to a sitting position.  "Did you do this? ", Tammy asked as she picked off the strands of dried leaves of seaweed that covered her.  "Thank you, it helped keep me warm." she said softly.

The boat came back and this time much closer.  Tammy saw it and stood up.
She waved and yelled at the man.  He saw her and came right up to where she was.
Tammy reached out and scooped Tuttle up in her hand.  "You're coming with me!" she said as the man helped her into the small boat and put a towel around her shoulders.

Tammy cradled Tuttle in her lap under the towel.
Tuttle felt the warmth of her legs.  She pulled in her head and legs and napped as the skiff bounced through the surf.

Tammy's mother was crying as she saw the boat approaching.   Gecko came out from under the porch and scampered out onto the
long boardwalk to get a better look.  He flashed his money when he saw Tammy  get off the boat and into her mother's arms.  They were both crying.  Tammy's
mother wrapped her arm around her shoulder, thanked the man on the boat and walked up the stairs of deck.  Gecko followed.  At the porch they sat in the rockers.  Tuttle poked her head out of hiding. Tammy stroked the back of her shell.  Gecko jumped from the rail to the chair and flashed his money again at Tammy.  She squealed with a laugh and picked him up.
"You will need to stay close
by", she told them.  We will play later.  "I love you!"

Tammy went inside with her mother.  She told her how Tuttle had helped save her and about Gecko also being a friend.  She never wanted to leave their little beach house she named Gecko Shores.

The End

Friday, June 7, 2013

Forty Year Itch

I haven't been forty in almost twenty years now.  But, I know it is a pivotal point in one's life.  I look back on the last forty years and know without a doubt they were the very best of times.  On 6/16/13
I would have had my fortieth wedding anniversary.  It is a very special day in our family celebrated by several who chose this same date to add to the strong love chain.  The newest addition to our love chain on 6/16/13 will be my daughter Wendy and her fiancĂ©, Jason Hatcher.  They met when she was twelve and he was fifteen.  You never forget your first love and now they are making it a reality.

As I think about age and it's influence on our lives and the choices we make along the way, I can't help but come away feeling like it was just the way I wanted it to be.  I only wish I still had my love
of my life to finish it with me.  But, I have his legacy in our children and grand children to enjoy and plan with.  That is my goal.
****

A lot of people fear their fortieth year.  It's like a curse to them.  The beginning of the end.
Up until that time, I suppose it was all the thrills and adventures they could ever squash into four decades that counted as to who they were or would ever be.

The first decade is spent being molded and shaped by parents and educators and other mentors.  So many goals achieved in a very short period of time on earth.  The independent spirit of a child bursting at the seams to go and do and experience for the first time all those things that are fun and bring pleasure.  A sponge soaking up knowledge from all influences.  A playful world.

The wonder years of being a teen can not go by fast enough.  Always wanting to be older.  Learning
at a level that exceeds their parents.  Creative thinking flourishes.  Body changes that happen seemingly over night.  Emotional growing pains at the loss of a friend's life well before their time.  Daring behavior.  Risk and defiance.  Exploration of physical desire.  Educators challenged.

A new independent world of knowledge.  Freedom to choose ones life path.  Living in diversity in college and the workplace.  Financial restrictions.  Life on a day by day basis a mix of necessity and excitement.  Twenty-four hours can not hold all the plans.  Everything all at once.  Priorities askew.  Always on the fringe of broke.  Some successes and many failures.

Commitment, excitement and anticipation of love and family growth push old goals aside.  Streaming energy from oneself to another's desires.  Planning for futures together.  A more solid foundation under their feet as they meet challenges and successes together.  Their children relying on their guidance and support.  Putting ones self last.

So when the year arrives that causes a reflection on the past, is there fear and anger at a lack of goals met?  Or is there happiness that those things desired were met to the best of your ability to make them happen?  Beyond this milestone are many more. Pull in all your resources and make your future matter.  Only you can make that happen.

Cathy Windham
6/7/13