Reflection

Looking through cut crystal is the way I see all the precious moments in my life.

Facets reflect love, hope and faith into a pattern that spills a rainbow on the surface of my memory.

When clouds subdue the sun and the day turns to night, the flame of candle light softens the spectrum.

I close my eyes and dream in a kaleidoscope of reflected happiness.

Writing A Song

I wish I knew how to write a song
About you and me riding along
Arm over shoulder
Sitting close
Your lips on mine
Eyes closed

Just being with you on a cold rainy day
Nothing was noticed as time ticked away
Arm over shoulder
Sitting close
Your lips on mine
Eyes closed

Over the threshold you carry me
Upon the bed you sleep with me
Arm over shoulder
Holding me close
Your lips on mine
Eyes closed

I lay next to you
Life slipping away
Arm over shoulder
Holding you close
My lips on yours
Eyes closed

Cathy Windham

Accepting Insecurity

Feeling insecure in a new place is hard.  Kids often are faced with this without much help.  Growing up in a household that forced one to move, change homes, leave friends and make new ones was an expectation.  Is it possible to honestly recall the first time feeling insecure?

In class a uniform was worn.  That probably helped in many ways.  But outside the classroom and back in the neighborhood it was more noticeable.  You stood out by attending a different school.  You had a different religion and church.  You had different guidelines and rules to adhere to.  You started to compare yourself to those you knew.
You wished for things or lifestyles
that you admired.  You were too young to know but to you it mattered what others thought.

Young teen years.  They do matter.
Awkward, growing, changing almost overnight.  Glasses, braces, clearasil, physical shape, breath, clothes, sports and abilities can make or break a young ones insecurities.

Do you like me?  Do you admit your feelings?  Do you step outside your comfort zone?  Do you take a risk?
A first kiss, what does it mean?
At that moment you can forget your insecurity and live with the hope that your future holds so much more.

Cathy Windham

The Bottom Middle Child

After one and two plus three came me, the bottom middle child.  I sometimes wonder if I was that glimmer in daddy's eye or an oops moment.  4/5th's is an odd fraction.
Either way, I'm here representing me in my birth order.

Much has been written and studied about a first born child.  Where do I stack up?  I would hope those who study these sort of things could say "she can hold her own."

She is observant.  She studies a situation and bases her decision after a lot of consideration.
She is strong.  She sees pain and buffers it's impact.
She is smart.  She works hard to tackle the unknown and apply it appropriately.
She is sensitive.  A word can crumble her world.
She is loving.  She's all in.
She is fair.  Weighing all circumstances before making judgement.
She is compassionate.  She will do anything for someone in need.
She is a friend, mom, neighbor, aunt, grandmother and sister.
She is me.

Cathy Windham
8/26/14

Spontaneity

Spontaneity

I have always been a pretty conservative person.  I don't know when I first realized this about myself though.
I was raised in a very conservative household.  Both parents were victims of the depression years.  We did not waste anything.  Toothpaste tubes were squeezed so flat you could use them as aluminum foil.
Jars and cans were rinsed and had
 multipurpose.  Paper grocery bags lined our trash cans and covered our school books.  Twist ties from bread, rubber bands around the newspaper and straight pins from store bought shirts better not be thrown away!
How many uses can you make of a blown out bike inner tube?  Do you know how to make gorilla glue?  I think they stole my dad's basement invention.  We were high on glue fumes and not even trying as it circulated through the a/c ducts!
God bless my dad.  He had a basement to be envied by hoarders.
Need a bolt?  He had it.  Fix a wringer washer, yep, no problem.
Make an old tv or refrigerator last 20 years, he was the man.
I forgot to mention the best find of all, a strand of clorox bottles strung together by old panty hose?
What in God's holy name was that for?
So, in today's age of throw away,
I often think of my dad and wonder as I take the trash out, if he is shaking his head and muttering "that's a perfectly good jar!"
Yes, it is as I decided to spontaneously multipurpose it!

Faith In The Unknown

Light at the end of the tunnel
Silver lining behind every cloud
Rainbow at the end of the storm
Amen at the end of our prayer
Kiss at the end of the day
Dream in the middle of the night
You thinking of me
Me hoping you care
Stars in celestial patterns
Moon illuminating love

Cathy Windham

By Moonlight

I did not get to grow old with you
ending on a winters day
You promised me a long time ago
you would always stay

I'm reminded as I watch the stars tonight
They're shrouded in the moonlight
The brightest one peeps through the
clouds
I remember us that night

You are gone and I am here
our love forever dear
Waves lap against the sandy shore
Your voice I'll never hear

Cathy Windham
8/14/14