Smiles held in the heart

Smiles held in the heart
Smiles held in the heart

Friday, July 26, 2013

Growing Up In My Career


My Nursing Career

At nineteen I graduated nursing school at NOVA in Arlington, Va June 8, 1973 and got married the next week on 6/16/73.  Three weeks later I took the state board nursing exam in Richmond,Va and on Sept 5th Began  work as a RN at General Hospital now (Southeast Alabama Medical Center) in Dothan, Al.
I worked at night 11p-7a in the Coronary Care unit.  Initially, I started out on a general medical surgical unit and was the only RN with a LPN and  two nursing assistants to take care of 34 patients.  The LPN passed the medicines and I supervised the staff and  had to make the assignments and monitor all the IV's and chart.  Back then there were no IV pumps and I had to make sure the drips stayed on time by counting the drops per minute and do all the additives.  IV containers were glass and we placed adhesive tape on the side and made hourly markings to help us keep the infusion on time.  We had a variety of patients who were admitted the evening before a surgery and needed lab work or X-rays done.  Then afterwards we had to care for their incisions, tubes and give medicines to keep them comfortable.  Often a patient was admitted for 3-5 days even for a procedure that is now done as an outpatient in a few hours.

I remember having a patient to suction who had just had a tracheostomy done.  I had to use a red rubber catheter which was soaking in Zypherine solution and then had to be rinsed with saline .  The gloves were packaged separately.  Now the gloves and catheter are sterile in the same package.  

One night I was making my initial patient rounds and at the end of the hall found an elderly
man struggling to breathe and having chest pain.  I called for help and he went into cardiac arrest.  That was my first code and death.  It was haunting and I'll never forget that look on his face and the feel of his cold clammy skin.  We had to bathe his body and prepare him for going to the funeral home by tagging his large toe with his name, birthdate and Dr name.
Next he was wrapped in a shroud.  The body was lifted onto a stainless steel table with a bin which had a table top cover.  This was done in order to wheel the body out through the hospital without anyone seeing a dead body under a sheet. In the morgue we had to lift the body into the refrigerator for the funeral home to pick up and log the information in a book.

My supervisor made her rounds at about 2-4 am and got an update on our patients.
We all wore nurses caps and white uniforms, hose and clinical shoes.  I learned how to insert IV's under her supervision.  She could always find a vein and had a technique I  use today and don't deviate from.  She taught me a lot and I appreciated her expertise.

Three months after starting to work she came to me and said I needed to go work in the Coronary Care Unit.  I was scared to death!  She said it would be ok and the other RN would help me learn what I needed to know.  I arrived and was put to work right away.
The unit held three patients and there was a monitor bank at the desk where we watched the heartbeat tracings of 6 more patients across the hall.  It sounded like a frog pond in there.  Each patients heart beat was beeping at a different rate.  I thought it would drive me crazy at first.  Then my ears became accustomed to the rhythms and I was able to hear things that were skipped or were abnormal. 

Night after night they asked me to work there and eventually I was enrolled in a EKG class to learn all the different rhythms.  But as luck would have it, the teacher ended up leaving the hospital and I was on my own to learn along with the other nurses who worked with me.
Thank God for them!  Mrs  Brackin RN, Addie McLea LPN and another girl that I can't remember right now taught me how to read the  monitors and run the codes.

Occasionally I helped in the 4 bed ICU area.  I remember a stripper who was badly bitten by a rattle snake, a guy who had been thrown from his car and had landed on a fence post. There were photos of it sticking out of his stomach taken in the OR and an immobile 400 lb lady who had a large bedsore big enough to put 1/2 a basketball in it!
When a code was called all hell broke loose!  We took the code cart which had all the drugs we needed and the defibrillator on the top.  We went all over the hospital and ran the code along with the nursing supervisor and the patients doctor over the phone!  Back then only the emergency room,  coronary care unit and OR had a defibrillator.  
I had to run a code one night on a doctor's mother.  She was across the hall at the time from the unit and went into VTach then VFib.  I about shit!  I got over there in seconds with the cart and shot lidocaine into her IV and  shocked her.   First I remember throwing about 6-8 pillows out of the way to get to her!  She survived and I sure felt proud but exhausted.

One quiet night Addie and I were talking and I remember telling her that my father-in-law Wayne Windham would someday be in there with a heart attack.  She told me not to worry but I knew his lifestyle put him at a big risk.  He smoked, drank and ate all the fried foods he could.  He was stressed all the time and was angry frequently.  Hard guy to be around when drunk.

We left Alabama in Sept 1976 when Jimmy rejoined the Navy.  On Jan 14, 1977 Wayne had a heart attack and we were called to come home.  I drove 11 hrs with Lauren and found out when I got there that Jimmy was granted emergency leave and flew in a few hours  before we arrived!  I knew Wayne would end up in coronary care!  He had a massive heart attack.  But he was fortunate.  He lived until 2010.  Several heart attacks along the way happened but he eventually stopped smoking and drinking as much and was a kinder man as a result.

In the meantime, Olga enrolled in nursing school and graduated with her LPN license and went to work to support them.  Since then my nephew Keith and brother-in-law Mike have become RN's.  Both of them have excelled in their fields of Anesthesia and Administration.  I'm so proud of them.
 One of the most shocking things I have ever seen was on my first day of work in Newport RI.  I was on orientation with the IV team  nurse and we were called to the ER.  When we arrived there were many people surrounding the stretcher working frantically.  When I got a glimpse of the patient it was an infant boy approx 4-5 mos old who had a huge knife in his tiny belly.
There was hardly any blood but he was as blue as if dipped in grape juice.  
I really struggled with handling the shock of what I saw and knew right then and there pediatric care would not be something I would ever want to do.
That poor darling has always profoundly haunted me.

Nursing has been a great career path for me.  I ended up in Jacksonville, Fl
working at Memorial Hospital in 1980.  The new Critical Care Center( CCC) just opened there and it was really state of the art for the time.  I met so many friends that I continue to know and work with.  We were a great team.  We got to wear scrubs and could opt out of having to wear our cap.  I opted out!  I hated wearing  it and my scalp hurt from the bobby pins I had to use to keep it on.  It seems it was always in the way of doing something.

The unit was triangular in shape with 8 rooms on each side.  There was an elevated observation nursing station and in the center of it was a monitor bank pit were the techs were seated who kept an eye on all the monitors.
The patient rooms had sliding glass doors and were large and roomy for the bed and all the equipment.  All the things we needed were within easy reach or just outside our rooms in cabinets.  Each side was stocked the same with a cart for changing or inserting various special lines like arterial lines for blood pressure or swan-ganz catheters for monitoring pressures in the heart and lungs. Usually we had 2-3 patients assigned or were the code nurse.  If there was a code called, you had to go and if the patient survived you had them in the CCC afterwards.  We had to chart on flow sheets which were large and fan folded so they could fit in the chart.  They had a graph for charting the pulse,  resp, BP every hour and temp, ventilator settings and lab results.  Off to the side we charted the assessment.
At the bottom we entered the medications or treatments given and times.
It kept you very busy along with everything else that had to be done like wound care, catheter emptying, suctioning, restraining and medicating.  Not to mention the endless new orders from the doctors changing what they wanted done.  We ran our asses off all night.
But we laughed a lot, too and it actually was fun to work that hard with friends who you respected and knew they had your back when needed.  We helped each other always.
For instance, when we had to weigh a patient who was on a ventilator we had to get the lift pad under them hook it to the apparatus and pump it up all the while making sure nothing  got pulled out of place.  While they were suspended in air, we quickly changed the bed linens and lowered them and got the pad out from under them.  
Burn patients were kept in strict  isolation.  We had to stay in the room with them all gowned, gloved and masked for hours and tend to them. It was hot and uncomfortable.
They had it worse.  Many did not survive and it was pitiful to witness their pain.
I went to the OR and  watched open heart bypass surgery.  It was fascinating!  Then I took care of the patient afterwards and the following day.  I loved it!

Next I learned to do hemodialysis.  Putting a patient on and off the machine was so complex.  We did all the controls and blood clotting testing.  So cool.
 I also learned the balloon pump.  This machine was used to help bridge the gap for a patient in need of heart bypass surgery.  A large catheter with a long inflatable balloon was inserted into their artery in the groin and fed up to just under their heart inside the aorta.
The timing for the balloon to inflate was between their hear beats and had to be exact.
It was amazing how much it helped get perfusion to their hearts and increase their chance of survival.  Wow!
Our Intensivists,  Dr Mathru and Dr Venus and cardio thoracic surgeon Dr Wingard were the best there is!  I learned so much from them.

A septic infection invades the whole body and causes a chain reaction of events that usually lead to cardiac and respiratory arrest if not handled swiftly.  The body swells and can hold on to fluids.  The patient is unrecognizable sometimes.  I rarely saw someone survive back then from this happening.  Now we have sepsis protocol that helps us determine a patients risk for sepsis and can often prevent it from occurring.  Our hospital is the first in the nation the be recognized for our sepsis prevention program!  

Obese  patients have many health risks.  Many can die from these conditions such as
sleep apnea, hypertension, diabetes, coronary artery disease, peripheral vascular disease,etc. Once lap band surgery was introduced as a treatment option for these patients, we started a program to treat them.  Our hospital was the first in NE Florida to have a Certified Bariatric Program!  

I continued to work in CCC until 1987 when we moved to Norfolk, VA.  At the time I changed and began working in the Emergency Room.  It was new and I  liked the fast pace and could use all my skills from critical care. I even delivered a baby in the back seat of a police car in a pouring rain storm.  I saw trauma patients, heart attacks, asthma attacks,
gun shot wounds, suicide attempts and rape victims.   After five years, I went into administrative nursing.

I applied for a position at Portsmouth Naval Hospital as a civilian Division Officer.
My department was one of three units that civilian nurses ran when Gulf War I started and many of the personnel were deployed to Iraq.  I ran the women's surgical oncology department.  It was a big responsibility.  I was not used to the role and found it hard to be in charge of others who I did not know well since we all started at the same time.
I had to adhere to all the a Navy regulations as well as the nursing company that employed us.  I decided administration was not my cup of tea and was glad when we were stationed to come back to Jacksonville when a Jimmy retired from the Navy.

I went back to work at Memorial, reconnected with many of my friends from the 80's and started in a new area of Outpatient Recovery.  My friend Mary McElroy was the director and Frida Sitchon and Linda Lee, Katherine Brown, Sylvia Tablada were there, too.  It was great.
The anesthesia MD's were all great and we had a busy department.  So many things had changed over the years in surgery. Now patients came in as outpatients for most procedures and only the big cases like open heart, neuro or big vascular or abdominal cases were kept as inpatients afterwards.  Everyone else went home that day.

Mary came to me one day in Jan 2000 and asked if I would take over as Recovery Room Director because she was going to become the CNO (Chief Nursing Officer).
At the time, I really was not sure if I ever wanted a job in administration again.
I went home that night and talked to Jimmy about it.  He has always been very supportive of my decisions.  On that Friday I was on call and had gone to visit Casey's brother Danny who was recovering from his near fatal accident.  Jimmy and I were returning and a beer truck pulled out in front of us.  I do not know how we escaped from being killed that night.
I remember screaming and how shaky I was.  

On Monday I told Mary what had happened and that I was no longer afraid to take the job.
It was a big job and I ran three departments the Main Recovery, Outpatient Recovery and the Short Stay Unit.  I had 60 employees to keep track of.  
We had JCAHO inspections that were grueling but we passed them with no infractions.
The training with the Navy had helped me prepare for them!  

We underwent a huge expansion of our areas and had no disruption of patient care and never had to close.  We managed to do our work around all the construction and commotion.  After five years I decided that was enough and went back to direct patient care.  At the same time mom's health was failing and I was having to dedicate a lot of time to her care.  It was the best decision ever.  I was happy that her last ten years were with us and that I could care for her at the end.

Today I work part time two 12 hr shifts a week.  In the morning  from 6a-12  work in the PreOp area getting patients ready for their surgery that day.  In the afternoon from 12:30-6p  I work in Pre Admission Testing area.  We do all the anesthesia interviews and testing work up.  We ensure that all clearances for surgery are done and that all lab testing is completed.  It's an area I can put all my clinical skills and teaching to practice to make sure my patients needs are met while they are in our care.  

A lot has changed since 1973 in the way we handle certain medical conditions and the type of medications and treatments and equipment to make the job easier.  I have learned many new things.  But most importantly I have learned to never forget there is a person in my care.  To always treat them with respect and dignity no matter what.

I have enjoyed nursing and find it hard to believe I've been nursing 40 years!

Catherine M. Windham R.N.
1973 - 2013





Monday, July 22, 2013

Ocean Floor

What if I were in your world
Would I know just how you feel
The softness of your cheek on mine
the touch that makes it real

Abstract glimpses of you and me
like a kaleidoscope sublime
turbulent fragment  pictures 
memories softened by time

Engulfing waves roar to the shore
Tides pull me under their grip
deeper down to the ocean floor
further away from you I slip

Cathy Windham
7/16/13

Monday, July 1, 2013

Excavating My Life

Life is a series of accumulation and excavation.  I find that it looks like
and feels like an archeological dig!
Why do I feel the need to keep something just for the sake of keeping
it?  Is it what makes memories tangible?  Would I forget if I did not see
touch or feel the past?  There is only so much room in a dwelling but my mind
can store so much more.
At this point, I'm standing at the bottom of what seems like the canyon.
I see striations of years in these things of my past.  They are beautiful but keep
me from looking at my horizon.
I want to look over the rim and see what is ahead and go there!
Cathy Windham
7/1/13

Friday, June 21, 2013

Remember When: Gecko Shores

Remember When: Gecko Shores

Gecko Shores


Gecko Shores
by, Cathy Windham
6/21/13

"Don't wander far." momma cautioned.  She watched her babies scurry from the sandy dune.  Their trail led straight to the water's edge where foam danced on the water like a lace edged curtain in the breeze.  Lifted into the shallow depth of the undertow they drifted further and further away from her.  Noting the area, Tuttle knew she would return home again but later when she would become a mother.  Right now all she wanted was adventure.  To discover this cool liquid that surrounded and buoyed her.  So many sights of things she did not know of.  Sand and shells tumbling on the ocean floor shifted themselves to be tossed on the bank like treasures for scavengers.  Brilliant rays of sun cutting through the surface of the tide lit the way like a flashlight.   

Safely coming back to the surface, she breathed deeply as a tiny sea turtle could.  She could see the lights from the houses on the shore getting smaller and dimmer.  Alone and not knowing what to do, she just listened to her heart and swam.  Opening her mouth she nibbled on the seaweed.  Darting schools of 
glittering fish sailed by not noticing her.  "Hi, who are you?" asked a clam.  " I hardly ever get visitors." she said.  "I'm Tuttle and I just got here today.  Can you help me in any way?  I need to get back home to my mother."  Camilla just sat there and said "You can't go home now.  You must grow much larger.  There are many dangers and it will be hard.  You must hide and stay away from large fish who will eat you!"  Tuttle's eyes grew larger and she was more afraid than ever!  "I will be careful." she said.  "I'll come back to visit you."  

Waves crashed and chewed at the sand.  The small cottage sat at the water's edge on stilts.  Aging in the sun after years of exposure made the wood on the siding turn gray.
A large porch allowed for relaxing afternoons in the sea breeze and gave the impression that life at the beach was the only way one could ever collect their thoughts.

Gecko  crawled along the edge of the driftwood and paused.  His throat expanded in a flash of red.  He saw her at the edge of the sea grass on the dune and hoped she would notice him.  Such a beautiful girl with golden brown hair that sparkled in the sun.  "I wonder if she is afraid of lizards like me."
The girl walked closer and then stopped and crouched down to stare at Gecko.
She had huge brown eyes and long dark lashes.  She did not act scared at all.  She called to him to come as she held out her palm slowly.  He had never allowed this before but wanted to go.  He stepped onto her fingertips and into the soft cushion of her palm.  She lifted him up to her face and observed him closely and cooed as she gently pet his head.  He flashed his money at her again and she squealed in laughter.  "There you go."  She let him go along the tall grass.  

"Mommy, I found a friend today!  He is a gecko and so tiny and bright green.  I wanted to keep him but I know you told me they can't be pets or they will die so I let him go.  I wonder if I'll ever see him again."  Her mother nodded her head and said, "That's nice , Tammy.  You never know when you will meet a new friend!"   "I must go start dinner, so you can stay here but do not go into the water.  The surf is too rough and I can't watch you". Just play out here in the sand and I'll call you in."

So a love for the shore developed on that June day.  Tuttle, Camilla, Gecko and Tammy had so much to do and explore that summer.  Each of them would never be the same again.

Tammy slept that night with the window to her room open in order to hear the ocean waves.  It had a rhythm that matched her breathing.  She could see the reflection of the moon on the water.  It shone like a wavy squiggle in a line that came right up to the sand.  Gecko saw it, too from his hiding place under the railing of the porch.  He wondered what it was like out there in the water.  He could not swim and was afraid to go too far away from the house where he could find food and see Tammy.  She came out on the porch just then in her white nightgown.  He stayed in place and watched her as she sat in the rocker and pulled her legs up under the gown and hugged her knees.  She was amazing and not like any of the other humans who either screamed or tried to squash him.
He loved the way her hair was always messy from the wind and fell across her eyes.  Slowly he emerged from under the rail to get a better glimpse.  Just then, Tammy saw him and leaned forward to look closer at him.  Gecko darted along the rail and up the side of the wall.  Tammy called for him not to be afraid because she was his friend.  "Peek a boo, I see you!" she called softly.  Gecko flashed his bright red throat at her and the light from the moon made it glow.

Tuttle came to the surface and floated awhile not moving.  It was a very long day spent swimming from shell to shell and eating along the long grasses that grew from the sand in the shallow areas.  She liked it here because she could hide and rest easily whenever she wanted without feeling afraid.  She stopped to see her friend Camilla.  They hung out together awhile then she moved on.   She saw a large flat fish on the bottom of the ocean floor.  It had a very long tail and when it swam the wings seemed to spread way out and flap at the tips.
There were bright blue and yellow fish that went by in huge groups.  They all swam close together and darted in the same direction when the sting ray was close.

She could see the little cottage in the moon light.  There was a girl on the porch in a white gown playing.  "I want to go there, but I know it is not safe.  I will some day but will have to just stay close and maybe she will see me if she comes swimming.  Tuttle watched as long as she dared then swam to the safety of the seaweed and rested.

Tammy curled up in her bed and thought of her summer days spent at the beach.  She was an only child and her mother was not married.  She did not know her father and had only seen him a few times at Christmas.  She preferred the long summer days at the shore where she could play for hours in the sand alone.  She pretended she had a brother or sister.  Mommy said that would never happen so she made friends with the little creatures she found around the cottage.  Last summer she had a pet crab.  She tried to keep it cooped up in a box but it got out.  She saw him scurrying along the sand toward the water and burrow down into the sand to escape her reach.  This time she was sure her friend Gecko would not run from her.  Tammy slipped out of bed and opened her window and quietly called to him.  The breeze off the ocean was soft and slightly humid and damp.  Gecko scampered from under the porch and along the side of the wall that led to Tammy's room.  He appeared on the window sill and stopped.  Tammy couldn't believe her eyes!  "Hello, you!  Where have you been today? ",she said softly.  Gecko just tilted his head and hopped through the window and onto the dresser.  He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and it startled him so much he jumped down to the floor and into the safety of darkness under the bed.  Peeking under the dust ruffle, Tammy called to him gently.  "It's ok, Gecko.  You are so handsome and don't even know it, do you?  You can stay there if you want but it's ok and safe here in my room.  I'll leave the window open a little for you and you can come in and out whenever you want!"  Gecko stayed under the bed all night.  He  was so happy not to have to worry
about the cat that came around at night looking or him.  In the morning he left before Tammy awoke and scampered to the rail to get warm from the early morning sun rays.

Tuttle was munching on some soft algae on the  log at the edge of the shore.  She liked it there and saw other little fish darting for safety whenever she came near.  Her shell was getting bigger and very hard.  Exploring the area she was in awe of the beauty in all the animals and plants that lived there.  This was a wonderful place to grow up.  But she was not happy.  She did not know how to go home and wanted to see her mother again.

One afternoon Tammy was wading along the beach.  She had been warned to not go into the surf alone.  She saw a large shell in the water just beyond where she was standing and decided to go just a little further and get it.  Just then a large wave knocked her down and tumbled her in the sand.  She gasped for breath as the undertow pulled her further under the surface and another wave crashed over her.  She floated and closed her eyes.  For a moment she pretended she was a mermaid.  She would swim away under water to a magical place in the sea.  She would become friends with all the fish that lived there.  Tuttle saw her floating in the water.  She came right up to her and felt her cheek with her fin.  Tammy's eyes were closed but popped oped when she felt Tuttle's touch.  She rose to the surface of the water and coughed.  She had no idea where she was.  Tuttle crawled out of the water and looked at her at eye level lying on the sand.  She tried to tell her not to worry.  She would be safe there with her.

Gecko came to the bedroom window but Tammy was not there that night.  He heard her mother crying to a man with a blue uniform on.  He wanted to know what was the matter.  Where was Tammy?  Gecko went from  house to house along the shore looking for her.  He looked all night long without any luck.

In the meantime, Tuttle worked hard to  keep Tammy warm by covering her with leaves and seaweed as she slept.  She had seen a boat go by further out in the water. 

Tammy opened her eyes.
She reached up and removed some seaweed from her face.  With just her eyes she looked around.
Above her were some palm trees.  The long tassels waved in the breeze and cast a long strip of shade
across the sand dune.
To each side were long stretches of beach littered with driftwood and shells.
A few seagulls flew over the water surface.  Tammy's feet could feel the tickle of the water as each new wave touched the shore where she lay.
Tuttle watched her at a distance.  She had never seen a girl before.  She crawled out of hiding and close enough to be seen.
Tammy reached out to her
and wiggled her fingers to come closer.  Tuttle did and Tammy lifted herself up to a sitting position.  "Did you do this? ", Tammy asked as she picked off the strands of dried leaves of seaweed that covered her.  "Thank you, it helped keep me warm." she said softly.

The boat came back and this time much closer.  Tammy saw it and stood up.
She waved and yelled at the man.  He saw her and came right up to where she was.
Tammy reached out and scooped Tuttle up in her hand.  "You're coming with me!" she said as the man helped her into the small boat and put a towel around her shoulders.

Tammy cradled Tuttle in her lap under the towel.
Tuttle felt the warmth of her legs.  She pulled in her head and legs and napped as the skiff bounced through the surf.

Tammy's mother was crying as she saw the boat approaching.   Gecko came out from under the porch and scampered out onto the
long boardwalk to get a better look.  He flashed his money when he saw Tammy  get off the boat and into her mother's arms.  They were both crying.  Tammy's
mother wrapped her arm around her shoulder, thanked the man on the boat and walked up the stairs of deck.  Gecko followed.  At the porch they sat in the rockers.  Tuttle poked her head out of hiding. Tammy stroked the back of her shell.  Gecko jumped from the rail to the chair and flashed his money again at Tammy.  She squealed with a laugh and picked him up.
"You will need to stay close
by", she told them.  We will play later.  "I love you!"

Tammy went inside with her mother.  She told her how Tuttle had helped save her and about Gecko also being a friend.  She never wanted to leave their little beach house she named Gecko Shores.

The End

Friday, June 7, 2013

Forty Year Itch

I haven't been forty in almost twenty years now.  But, I know it is a pivotal point in one's life.  I look back on the last forty years and know without a doubt they were the very best of times.  On 6/16/13
I would have had my fortieth wedding anniversary.  It is a very special day in our family celebrated by several who chose this same date to add to the strong love chain.  The newest addition to our love chain on 6/16/13 will be my daughter Wendy and her fiancĂ©, Jason Hatcher.  They met when she was twelve and he was fifteen.  You never forget your first love and now they are making it a reality.

As I think about age and it's influence on our lives and the choices we make along the way, I can't help but come away feeling like it was just the way I wanted it to be.  I only wish I still had my love
of my life to finish it with me.  But, I have his legacy in our children and grand children to enjoy and plan with.  That is my goal.
****

A lot of people fear their fortieth year.  It's like a curse to them.  The beginning of the end.
Up until that time, I suppose it was all the thrills and adventures they could ever squash into four decades that counted as to who they were or would ever be.

The first decade is spent being molded and shaped by parents and educators and other mentors.  So many goals achieved in a very short period of time on earth.  The independent spirit of a child bursting at the seams to go and do and experience for the first time all those things that are fun and bring pleasure.  A sponge soaking up knowledge from all influences.  A playful world.

The wonder years of being a teen can not go by fast enough.  Always wanting to be older.  Learning
at a level that exceeds their parents.  Creative thinking flourishes.  Body changes that happen seemingly over night.  Emotional growing pains at the loss of a friend's life well before their time.  Daring behavior.  Risk and defiance.  Exploration of physical desire.  Educators challenged.

A new independent world of knowledge.  Freedom to choose ones life path.  Living in diversity in college and the workplace.  Financial restrictions.  Life on a day by day basis a mix of necessity and excitement.  Twenty-four hours can not hold all the plans.  Everything all at once.  Priorities askew.  Always on the fringe of broke.  Some successes and many failures.

Commitment, excitement and anticipation of love and family growth push old goals aside.  Streaming energy from oneself to another's desires.  Planning for futures together.  A more solid foundation under their feet as they meet challenges and successes together.  Their children relying on their guidance and support.  Putting ones self last.

So when the year arrives that causes a reflection on the past, is there fear and anger at a lack of goals met?  Or is there happiness that those things desired were met to the best of your ability to make them happen?  Beyond this milestone are many more. Pull in all your resources and make your future matter.  Only you can make that happen.

Cathy Windham
6/7/13